Mbeki visits Mugabe

Well, well, well, the Master beckons. I see Thabo was summoned to Harare prior to his SADC meeting in Lusaka on Saturday. Hardly surprising, is it? As I have long suspected, Mad Bob clearly has some sort of a hold over our poor little president, and I’m not just talking about the steely grip on the midgets hand as he escorts him through the throngs of photographers. No, there is something else. What could it be? Let’s speculate, shall we.

‘Please Robert, you’re hurting my hand.‘

‘Shut up and walk.’

‘Bob, please, you’re walking too fast, I’m going to trip in these heels.‘

‘Smile, yes, good just a few more steps.‘

The door slams.

‘WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME OUT THERE?‘

‘Master sorry, you were hurting me, it just slipped out.‘

‘Do that again and I’ll tell the World what I know about our little Thabo.‘

‘Robert, ahh, Master, we’ve been through this before. I told you I’ll help, please just don’t tell.‘

‘Right, that’s better, did you bring the cash?‘

‘Yes, here it is?‘

‘The cooking oil?‘

‘Yes, my staff are offloading it now, and the bread, milk and that other little parcel from Adult World.‘

‘Did you get my instructions for the SADC meeting and your “NO CRISIS” press release?‘

“Yes Master.‘

‘Good, just a few more months now and we’re out of here.‘

‘Are you sure we’ll be welcome?‘

‘Leave it to me Thabo, I know how to make things happen.’

‘Master, may I ask you a question?‘

‘Go on.‘

‘Once we’re safely in China with all the money, could we call it quits?‘

‘Whatever do you mean?‘

‘I mean the deal, the blackmail and the ritual.‘

‘I’ll think about it. OK, let’s get on with it, you have a plane to catch.’

‘PLEASE, do we have to?‘

‘YES, DO IT AND THEN GO AND MAKE THIS LITTLE MDC PROBLEM GO AWAY.’