20 reasons to annex Zimbabwe

Annexation (Latin ad, to, and nexus, joining) is the legal incorporation of some territory into another geo-political entity (either adjacent or non-contiguous). Usually, it is implied that the territory and population being annexed is the smaller, less peripheral or weaker of the two merging entities. It can also imply a certain measure of coercion, expansionism or unilateralism on the part of the stronger of the merging entities. Because of this, more positive terms like political union or reunification are sometimes preferred. Source : Wikipedia

I don’t know about you, but I have personally had enough of Mad Bob and his crap up North. Between Bob, Zuma, Mbeki and Selebi our Rand has fallen from R6.90 to the US$ to almost R8 since Christmas, and this purely because of these idiots and their big mouths. So let’s solve the Zim problem once and for all and just annex what’s left of this excuse for a country. Here are 20 reasons.

  1. Half of the population of that country is on this side of Beit Bridge anyway.
  2. Most of our hijacked cars are on that side.
  3. They have plenty of mineral resources.
  4. They have the Victoria Falls. (that’s my son and I checking out the view)
  5. We could build another big-ass hydro-electric scheme at Kariba and solve our power problems.
  6. We are going to have to bail the country out anyway because of Mbeki’s “quiet diplomacy”.
  7. It wouldn’t cost us a cent.
  8. We could use zim dollars to insulate our houses for winter or as firelighters.
  9. It will dilute our HIV infection and crime statistics.
  10. They play an average game of cricket.
  11. If we could stop everyone fighting, we could earn billions from tourism.
  12. The farms could be productive again.
  13. We could move our excess elephants there instead of culling them.
  14. Come to think of it, we could move some our excess politicians there as well.
  15. We could teach them to play rugby.
  16. We could build another multi-billion rand soccer stadium in Harare for the World Cup.
  17. We’d have an excuse for our pathetic exchange rate.
  18. Their inflation rate makes ours look great.
  19. Crocodile skin handbags ?
  20. It would take the focus off of our economy (it worked for the US and Iraq).

My personal reason for pushing for annexation however, is that I have a couple of these babies stashed away. I wonder what they’ll be worth some day?

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5 Responses

  1. You got it – where do we sign up?

    Only problem is…I think Mad Bob beat us to it. I think it happened one dark night when suddenly SA’s gates were opened and 3 million of the buggers slipped in on the quiet and they installed the puppet strings from Harare to Pretoria…about the time of the Tshwane bullshit…

  2. Have a couple of good props playing in the super 14

  3. Haha! I have a couple of those lying around too, as well as a more recent one with so many zeros on it, it’s a miracle they even fit on the bill. Scary. I like the soccer stadium idea – hah!

  4. […] 14, 2008 · No Comments In a previous post, 20 reasons to annex Zimbabwe, I had a light-hearted look at the prospects of annexing Zimbabwe. With the recent chaotic events, […]

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