I have Jake White on line #2

Mr President, I have Jake White on line #2.

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Oh, what does he want?

Sir, he says it’s personal but it has something to do with Tokyo Sexwale.

What?

Well sir apparently Mr Sexwale has approached him to coach an alternative South African rugby squad.

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You cannot be serious?

Yes sir, and apparently this squad is going to be selected purely ON MERIT.

WHAT. Is he mad? That’s not the South African way.

I know sir, that’s exactly what I thought, but there’s more.”

More?

Yes sir, apparently Mr Sexwale is also forming soccer and cricket teams.

But what for?

I’m not sure, but Mr White seems to think it has something to do with the Presidential succession battle.

How could sport possibly have anything to do with Tokyo’s bid for my job?

Sir, apparently Mr Sexwale is going to challenge the national teams with his squads.

What will that prove?

That his teams can beat our teams.

Impossible, we’re rugby world champions for one. Even England couldn’t beat us.

Well Jake White seems to agree with him.

That he’ll be a better president because his teams can beat our boys?

Yes sir, and that they’ll be better because they were chosen ON MERIT.

But how will that make him a better president?

Well sir, apparently that’s how Mr Sexwale want’s to run the whole country.

But that’s treasonous. What about Affirmative Action and Black Economic Empowerment?

Sir, he say’s they’re as unnecessary on the sports field as they are in the country as a whole.

So in other words, I’m f*cked?

Yes sir.

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