The Beauty Pageant

So Bru, how was your trip to Zimbabwe, the land of the hungry?

Pretty hectic, I only just made it out of there with my life.”

Why, what happened?

Well, as you know I answered that ad about judges for the Miss Zim Beauty Pageant.

Ja, well what’s wrong with that, it was all expenses paid wasn’t it?

Sure, but you never told me a million wasn’t much up there, and worst of all, Doris said it was a scam, and she was right.

Is that all they paid you?

Ja, and transport, but that sucked.”

Why, what happened?

Well, they arranged a bus to pick up all of the International Judges.”

International Judges, where from?

Oh, SA, Swaziland, Lesotho, Botswana,

Jeez, that must have been quite a trip.”

Ja, and they picked me up first. Shit man it was hectic.

But you were comfortable enough in the bus weren’t you?

No, I wasn’t. I was the only judge who travelled light. Everyone else brought everything but the kitchen sink to flog in Zim at a profit, and the bus was loaded to the gills.


So what happened when you got there?

Well, they said there had been a problem with most of the contestants.

Problem? What sort of problem?

Well, they were all sick or something.

So what did you guys do?

Well we just had to declare the last girl the winner, and then get the hell out the country.

Was she pretty? Who was she?

Shit no man, she was butt-ugly, but she looked vaguely familiar.”



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