Stop the Press Release

Bongani, would you come to my office please.

Certainly, Dr Manto.


A troll comes scurrying into Her Highness’ office.

Yes, Dr Manto, what can I do for you?

Bongani, the Press Release I dictated to you this morning, did you send it to the Media?

Yes, Dr Manto, it took me 15 minutes to type, then I…………………

Yes, yes, spare the details, but you sent it?

I did

Shit !!

What’s the matter Dr Manto?

It’s to do with the diet plan that I recommended for Tuberculosis sufferers.

It seemed very tasty and nutritious, what’s the matter with it?

Bongani, do me a favour? Just read it to me again.

OK, here goes. Fresh fruit,


Garlic and Ginger.


Your favourite, African Potato.


Lean fillet steak.


Duck Breasts.

Mmm, are you sure?

Yes, it’s right here, Duck Breasts.

Go on.

300g of foie gras.*



300g of foie gras.

But we can’t give foie gras to TB sufferers. I’ve just read a news article here.

Why, is it too expensive?

No you moron, money is no object when we’re saving peoples lives. It says here that it could kill them.

Oops, what are we going to do?

What else is on that list?

3 doz large fresh oysters, 500g French Truffles, 2 cases of Dom Perignon, 1 case Johnny Walker Black, a case of Cuban Cigars and 100g Beluga Caviar.


Give me that list. Oh my God, Bongani, this is my shopping list you idiot, didn’t you notice anything wrong when you typed it?

Not really, I just felt a bit envious of the TB patients.


* For you Philistines out there, foie gras is a French Delicacy made from the liver of Ducks or Geese that have been force fed by a method called “gavage” and costs in excess of R1300/kg.


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