J-Bay to Mars

So Bru, how did you go at the Billabong?

Naghh, no so good. The first day of the competition was OK, but then I got a bit of a skrik and lost my nerve.

Nooit man, I thought you said that you’re scared of nothing?

Ja, but you know what it’s like. A man’s gotta draw the line somewhere.

Were the waves too big?

Nooit bru, it was the wildlife, if you know what I mean?

Sharks?

shark.jpg

Yep, and that’s when I lost my nerve, and anyway I’ve decided to apply for a job

A job? What kind of job? You dropped out of school in Std 5 to go surfing remember?

Ja I know, but I really think I can do this.”

What kind of person are they looking for?

Well, it says here, they are looking for someone who ‘can live for 520 days in tight confinement, eating freeze-dried food and in total isolation.

Are you mad? You can’t do that.”

What? Of course I can. It sounds just like my flat, and I’ll be paid for sitting there doing nothing.

But what’s it all about?

Well, I applied, and they’re gonna send me all the info.

But what do you have to do?

I’m not so sure, but it sounds like they’re going to put me in a box with some biltong and beer for 520 days, and I have to pretend I’m flying to Mars.

But bru, you don’t even like driving with the windows closed. You can’t do something like that. What else did they say?

The crew will experience extreme isolation and confinement. They will lose sight of planet Earth. A radio contact will take 40 minutes to travel to us and then back to the space explorers

Wow, and the pay? Is it good?

No idea, but it must be, especially if they pay a travel allowance.”

Are you going to be paid per kilo?

Yep, and Mars is more than 56 million km away. Even if I only get a buck a K, that’s R56M just for travel, and I’m sure the pay is great too, but I’m not sure how they’ll send it to me or what I’ll be able to spend it on.

But bru, you’r going to be sitting in a box with your biltong and beer PRETENDING to be going to Mars. They’re not going to pay you R56M to sit in one place.

Oh shit, I didn’t think of that. Here’s the article, you read it, I’m going outside. It’s getting a bit stuffy in here.

mars.jpg

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One Response

  1. Eish! I can imagine how you could lose your nerve about surfing…

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