Red Light Schools

So Jackie “The Don” Selebi, our controversial Police Commissioner, and current president of Interpol, has suggested relaxing our anti-prostitution laws to establish “Red Light” Districts for the duration of the 2010 World Cup.selebi.jpg

Also mooted was a more relaxed attitude to drinking in public. The British Soccer Hooligans must be rubbing their hands in glee. Why don’t we just add drunken driving, urinating in public, public indecency and common assault? I think this is just a “cop out”. (Please excuse the pun) I think the realisation has just struck home of the sheer volume of people arriving and old Jackie-boy wants to reduce his workload.

But anyway, lets just roll with it. Here is how I’d handle the Red Light Districts, seeing that nobody wants one on their doorsteps.

Step One

Send all school kids home for the duration, thus freeing up schools and hostels. The school playing fields can be used for ad-hoc camp sites, and the hostels could be taken over by the “Ladies of the Night.” Rentals generated could be substantial and used for much-needed school equipment such as library books and computers


Step Two

Cable up all of the rooms with Webcams and establish a pay-to-view website where the voyeuers out there can watch their mates in action. More revenue here for the schools.


Step Three

The School buses could be used to ferry fans to the games. More revenue here for the schools.


Win, Win ?

Quotation of the Day;

Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I don’t like that attitude. I can assure them it is much more serious than that.

Bill Shankly

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