Everything is connected

Tonight our petrol price will go up by 68c. Why? Well the official theory is that tensions between Iran and the UK over the sailors and marines who are being held in Iran, is pushing the oil price higher on speculation that supplies will be disrupted. With each breakthrough in negotiations the price drops a little, and everytime George Dubya Bush says something, it shoots up again.

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These events are directly connected and easily explained. Some “connected” events are not so easily explained. Take the recent example of the rapid decrease in the scallop population. No apparent reason could be offered for the declining stocks, until some researchers found that the reason was that large sharks (great whites, hammerheads etc) were being heavily harvested and “finned”. How in heavens name would this affect the humble scallop? Well the big sharks normally feed on rays and smaller sharks, and with larger sharks numbers declining, there was a population explosion in these smaller sharks. And guess what? They eat scallops !!

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Global Warming is a great scapegoat and can be blamed for anything. Try this;

You did not pay your TV licence on time and had to pay a fine. Here’s why;

  • Global Warming causes slowly rising sea levels and extreme weather conditions.
  • During your recent visit to Durban, your car was crushed, as your holiday home collapsed during the unusually high seas.
  • The Insurance company paid out, but you were left with an excess.
  • You had a choice to pay this excess and get a new car, or pay your TV Licence.
  • You chose the former (dughh) and ended up paying a penalty for late payment of the TV Licence.

Global Warming thus caused the late payment of your TV Licence.

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