Just some sundry outgoing items from the pen of Synaptoman.
Dear Mamma Manto.
I was shocked and horrified to hear this week that your condition had deteriorated to such an extent that a liver transplant was considered necessary. Surely I, as one of your most ardent fans, should have been advised of the operation. You certainly are a lucky lady. With 100 patients needing livers annually, and only 15 to 20 operations being performed, it surely is a miracle that a matching organ could be found at such short notice. Anyway, I wish you a speedy recovery, and trust that you are being treated with the appropriate antibiotics and anti-rejection drugs, and haven’t been sent home with some lemon, garlic and African Potato.
Dear Mr Zuma,
Thank you for your kind words and the autographed, “100% Zulu Boy” t-shirt. Yes, I would be most honoured to write your weekly “Letter to the Peepel” should you be elected President. This pen is always for hire. As far as giving your web site, Friends of Jacob Zuma a “plug” from this blog, what a pleasure !! And yes, I will also mention your bank account for donations, The Friends of Jacob Zuma Trust; First National Bank Durban; Branch Code: 221426; Cheque Account number: 62087217818. But please Mr Zuma, do us a favour. Try not to shoot your foot off when prancing around in that leopard skin with the loaded AK47.
Your humble fan
Just a very quick note. I’ve lost the PIN, and I’m stuck in this crumby Internet Cafe in Brussels. Why aren’t you answering your emails? Also, your work phone just rings and rings. This is URGENT, I leave for Zurich tomorrow morning and will not, I repeat not, be able to do the withdrawal without the PIN.
Dear Mr Mbeki,
I know that you have received over 2 300 000 letters regarding the “crime situation” I also know that you cannot respond to all of them. Accordingly, I have written this letter in blood, my blood, to make it really stand out from the rest. The only problem is Sir, I have cut myself rather deeply, and phoned 911 about three hours ago, and have been listening to a recorded voice telling me to renew my TV licence since then. Help, I am feeling rather light-hea………………………….
Quotation of the Day
The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think.