The Patient

“Good morning Mr Shaik, may I come in?”

“Certainly comrade, sit down, have a grape.”

“Ahh, no thanks. Ahh, Mr Shaik, I’m afraid I have some bad news for you.”

“Bad news? I’m not interested in bad news. Would you mind passing me a grape? That’s it, just pop them in while we have a nice chat.”


“Mr Shaik sir, I’m afraid you’re going to have to leave this place.”

“WHAT, are you out of your mind? My blood pressure is sky-high. I’m going nowhere.”

“Mr Shaik, I’m afraid the doctors all confer. You’ll have to leave. The Press <spit> are making my life a living hell. You’re being transferred this afternoon.”

“No way. I’ve ordered Duck l’Orange for dinner. It’ll have to be some other time.”


“Sir, you’ve been here almost three months. Even Discovery Health are getting nervous.”

“Comrade, do me a favour? Just pass me that pan, yes that one, thanks. Ahh”

“Mr Shaik sir, the transport will be here at 3PM”


“Well then cancel it, I’m staying right here.”

“Sir, I have the papers right here. I’m afraid it’s all official.”

“Papers, what papers? Give them here. Mmm, mmm, OK, yes. Right. Well this is what I think of your papers.”

“Mr Shaik sir, please don’t do that. Oh jeez sir, this is going to cause some complications. You’re supposed to sign them.”

“Well comrade, accept that as a signature. Now run along and empty this pan.”

“Mr Shaik, this has gone too far. I am not emptying this stinking bedpan.”


“yes sir.”

Quote of the Day

“A Sunday School is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.” Karl Kraus.







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